


The Tick Consentacle Fic

by TheFlutteringWhore



Category: The Tick (TV 1994)
Genre: Consentacles, Lots of Sex, M/M, Tentacle Plant, a healthy dose of batshit insanity, a surprise cameo that's totally obvious but I'm keeping it a surprise anyway', and puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22521985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlutteringWhore/pseuds/TheFlutteringWhore
Summary: These Two Heroes Fuck a Plant, the Result Will Warm Your Heart
Relationships: Tick/Arthur
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

"What a nice day for a kind old lady to show us her garden, right Arthur?"  
"I don't think that's what this is, Tick. She's a bio engineer, specializing in plants, and she says she has a very important invention to show us."  
The two heroes soon arrived at a greenhouse where they were greeted by a short plump elderly woman with bushy hair.   
"Ah, boys! So glad you could make it!"  
"Hello, Dr. Everglade," Arthur greeted.  
"Please, call me Mandy! And come in!"  
She motioned for Tick and Arthur to follow her inside the greenhouse, so they did. Once inside their senses were briefly overwhelmed with pleasant smells and a variety of colors. The plants ranged from normal garden flowers to some of the strangest looking greenery either of them had ever seen. 20 foot tall flowers with spiraling purple stems, trees with trunks shaped like historical busts, thick silky ivy that weaved itself into a spider's web of intricate patterns, and speckled ripe honeydews that made their mouths water looking at them were just some of the things they had observed.  
"Mandy, this is incredible," Arthur marveled.  
"Thanks! It better be, it's my life's work! But I didn't bring you here to gawk at my melons! Come, it's in the side room!"  
She lead them through the man-made jungle, and stopped for a sec.  
"Ohp, you gentlemen don't mind if I feed my girls for a sec?!"  
"Uh, sure, go ahead."  
She walked up to a nest of Venus fly traps with sappy tongues and thorny teeth and grabbed a bucket.   
"Dinner time, girls! What do we say?!"  
"Please and thank you, Mandy!" rang a chorus of small voices that startled the boys and creeped them out a little.  
Mandy dumped the contents of the bucket, a cascade of dead grasshoppers, into the awaiting mouths of the plants. She smiled.  
"I love them, but I made sure to limit their intelligence! Can't have smart plants! No sir, I won't make that mistake again!"  
She waved her hand.  
"Alright, no more delaying! Oooo, I'm so excited!"  
Mandy led her guests to the room. "I hope you gentlemen are prepared for what you're about to witness!"  
She opened the door and the Tick and Arthur walked in, immediately shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight before them. They gaped for a few seconds before Mandy spoke up.  
"Well?! What do you think?!"  
Tick coughed. "Um, pardon me. I hope you don't think I'm crass for saying so, but those vines look an awful lot like...like…"  
"Dicks?!" Mandy laughed. "How very astute of you, Tick! This is my proudest work yet! I call him _Vinea Fornicatio,_ or sex vines! Go on, ask me what he does!"  
Neither of them knew what to say. They were definitely not ready for this. _Does she not realize how uncomfortably weird this is?_ They both thought.  
"Speechless, eh?! No doubt you're in awe at the beauty of him! Well, I'll just tell you what he does!"  
She walked closer to the plant. As she did so, it stirred slightly. She put her hand on it.  
"This little beauty will give you the best sex of your life, thanks to his empathic abilities! He can sense when what he's doing is turning you on and adjust his technique accordingly! And since he's empathic, he knows when you want it and when to stop! No more consent issues with your tentacle monsters! One of my favorite features however is the sap he secretes, which is functionally lube and just as safe! Observe!"  
She gripped one of the vines and slid her hand down it. When she pulled it away, it was slicked up.   
"When consumed, it's also a nice aphrodisiac!"  
She smiled wide and looked at the flabbergasted heroes.  
"Well, what do you think?! Am I great or what?!" She proclaimed as she wiped her hand on her apron.  
The two blushing men scrambled for something to say. Once Arthur's thoughts were gathered he realized he had one question.  
"Uh...it's...impressive, really but...why uh...why did you show us this?"  
"I thought you'd appreciate it! You two are the only openly gay superheroes I could think of!"  
Tick spoke up.  
"Uh, no. You must have us confused with someone else. We're not...I mean...we don't swing that way."  
"Really? Huh. Well if you ever change your mind, feel free to sample Sexy's services! Of course this is a special privilege, I plan to sell these plants for hundreds of millions, but I owe you two a personal debt! Here!" She tossed them a pair of keys, which Tick caught. "You're welcome in my greenhouse any time! I trust you!"  
"Uh...thanks? Thanks."  
"No, thank you! Thank you for all you do for The City! It's the least I could do, really!"  
They made their way back to the entrance.  
"Well uh...thank you again I guess."  
"It was my pleasure boys! Have a nice ride home!"  
Once she closed the door Tick and Arthur looked at each other.   
"…you wanna grab a bite to eat?"  
"Oh! Sure, sure."


	2. Chapter 2

It was 10 pm, and Arthur was wide awake. He couldn't stop thinking about that...that plant. He saw in his mind's eye those phallic vines and felt arousal surge through him. _No, no,_ he thought. _Mustn't go down that path._ Yes, he did enjoy anal, and yes, maybe he did fantasize about something like that plant. _Well why not?_ His reckless side said. _What's stopping you?_ He got out of bed and looked at the keys on the table. _C'mon. You know you want to._ He gulped and picked up the keys. The thought of it did turn him on. He walked into the living room to see Tick sleeping on the couch. He looked that fit muscular body up and down.  
 _"We don't swing that way."_  
Arthur mentally sighed. He didn't want to dwell on Those thoughts too much. He snuck past the snoring man to the door. He opened, went out, and closed it carefully. Down the hall, to the elevator he went. Soon he was out of the building. He knew it was dangerous at night, but that greenhouse was mercifully close, and luckily he made it without incident. He trekked on foot, in his mind debating on actually going through with this.   
Once at the greenhouse, he unlocked the door. It was serene inside, the moonlight highlighting the growth. He found his anxieties calmed as he made his way to that side room. In the room, again he saw that plant, only this time the atmosphere was much different. He stepped closer, feeling more worked up with each step. He looked at it.  
 _Vinea Fornicatio._ He blushed as he eyed the penis-shaped vines. _Let's see if it lives up to the hype._  
Arthur saw the plant begin to move. Slowly the vines extended toward him. One began to wrap around him while the other rubbed his crotch. Two regular looking tendrils slipped into the waistband of his tights and pulled them down, exposing his hardening penis. He opened his mouth and let out a sigh as he felt that slick appendage rub against his cock. Another was slithering its way toward his face, brushing against his mouth. He let it in and closed his lips around it. He tasted the sweet sap and immediately felt heat surge through him.  
 _Aphrodisiac indeed,_ he thought as he let out a loud moan, feeling more horny than ever.  
He didn't even notice his pants and shoes were taken off until he was lifted off the ground, the vines wrapped around his ankles spreading his bare legs. He shivered when one slowly slid up his thigh, closing in on his ass. the head circled around his entrance. His hole lubed up, Arthur waited to be penetrated, but that tip merely skimmed his sensitive area. It was teasing him, driving him insane.   
"Mmmmmf!" He moaned desperately through a mouthful of plant cock.  
"Arthur?"  
That soft voice sent waves of horror through the half-naked man. He turned his head to see Tick standing in the doorway. The vines stopped, the one moving out from his mouth.  
"Tick! Tick, oh god. Oh god. Why are you here?!"  
"I woke up and you were gone, and I noticed the keys were missing so...I figured you'd be here."  
Arthur had never felt such a strange combination of dread...and excitement. He had no idea what Tick was going to do. The man in question walked closer.  
"So...does that feel...good?"  
"Y-yes."  
Tick stood in thoughtful silence, when Arthur noticed the green and purple ropes sneak closer to him.  
"I think I want to try," he said. Arthur felt his arousal come back, especially when Tick took one of the purple dicks in his mouth. It certainly took him by surprise to see this paragon of masculinity fellate an imitation penis. His arousal increased twofold and a moan slipped from his lips, a moan that was echoed by the bigger man as he unzipped his tights.  
 _He has a zipper?_ Arthur thought. _I'll have to remember that._ Arthur barely had time to fully process that thought however before he was greeted to the awe-inspiring sight of Tick's penis, which was almost the length of Arthur's forearm.   
Vines were soon wrapped around that mighty cock, sliding up and down. Arthur was so captivated by the sight that he didn't notice that the dick that was teasing him resumed its task until it breached his hole. He sang out a loud erotic whine. The two men were intoxicated, the sight of each other adding to their pleasure. It was going to be quite a fun night.  
Or so they had thought, until a familiar voice startled them and sent them into battle mode.  
"Alright women, remember the plan, we're- OH GOD WHY?!"  
Tick spit out the phallus and pointed a finger at the floral man now shielding his eyes.  
"EL SEED!"


	3. Shit gets crazy

"El Seed! You fiend, what are you doing here?!" Tick shouted, still wielding a raging erection, now no longer obscured by vines.  
"Dear Lord! I'll tell you, just put that thing away!"  
Tick looked down as if he hadn't realized he was still erect. He struggled to zip up and stuff himself back into his tights. After a minute, he was decent, but his bulging pants looked like they were about to burst.  
"Okay, I guess that's better, but I still can't battle you while your sidekick is getting his fudge packed."   
"Don't try to change the subject by bringing candy into this! You'd better get ready for a whooping!"  
"El Seed."  
Another voice from behind growled his name like a threat. He smirked.  
"Hello, Mandy."  
"El Seed. Why have you come here?"  
El Seed turned to face her. "I am rescuing this poor plant, of course! It does not deserve life as a sex slave, it deserves to be free!"  
"As if you wouldn't keep him as a slave, El Seed! Sexy isn't like you! He loves humans, he loves his job! He's an empath, which means he feels all the pleasure of the people he's fucking! It also means he won't hurt anyone, which is more than I can say for you."  
The elderly lady pulled out a hoe and brandished it in El Seed's direction.  
"I should have never created you. It's time to finish what I started! El Seed, your ass is grass!"  
"I don't think so! Bee twins!"  
He stood there for a few seconds. After a bit the smirk on his face died.  
"Bee twins?" Mandy chuckled and pointed behind him. He turned and gasped when he saw his curvaceous henchladies naked and being caressed and fucked by dick vines. They moaned in unison.  
"You-you traitors!" He got closer to them. "Get away from that plant right now!" They ignored him as small vines squeezed their nipples. "Th-that's not right!" He watched as plant cock slipped between their glistening folds and into their vaginas. "I-I can't believe you two...there is nothing attractive about...those…"  
El Seed jumped as a vine brushed against his neck. He shivered and let it snake over his chest as two others caressed him, one his buttocks and one his face. The lower one pulled away and came down swiftly to smack his ass.   
He gasped. Soon he was letting himself be undressed.  
Meanwhile, Tick stood there awkwardly. "What...uhhhh...this is weird." He looked at Arthur, who was no longer suspended in the air and had put on his pants. The sidekick glanced at Mandy.  
"Did-did you say you created him?" He said, trying to ignore the villain.  
She sighed. "Yes, it's true. My great achievements went to my head and I thought I could play god. Well, more than I already do. He used to be a good boy too, but a mixture of puberty and the horror of seeing his discarded failed prototypes turned him naughty. It's my fault," she said, looking forlorn. But when she lifted her head her expression brightened again.   
"Ha! But look there, seems like that naughty boy is getting what he deserves!"  
The heroes turned their heads to see their nemesis bent over, vines lashing at his bare leafy buttocks. His tears indicated pain, but his soft moans indicated pleasure. They quickly looked back at Mandy, who was laughing.  
"Sexy used vine whip! It's super effective!"  
Her laughing was cut off.   
"Oh! Oh god, you boys must be suffering from a terrible case of blue balls! Please feel free to finish what you started!"  
"Haha, uh, no thanks," Arthur said.  
Mandy nudged him. "Aw, c'mon Arthur, this is a judgement free love zone! Let your inhibitions go, let your wildest fantasies come to life! Fuck that plant!"  
Arthur gulped. He had to admit, he did want to. He was pretty pent up. Tick put a hand on his shoulder.  
"I think we should, chum! It'll be a grand time! Besides," he leaned in next to Arthur's ear. "I thought you looked pretty sexy." Arthur felt that heat come back.   
"W-well, if you think so, Tick." He didn't have to get too close before those vines wrapped around him once again, wasting no time in slipping off his tights. One of those clever plant dicks made its way into his mouth again, the sweet sap on Arthur's tongue sent a wave of euphoria through his head and into his penis. A blue hand laid on his shoulder and surprised him. This surprise turned to bliss when it was joined by the other hand to rub his chest. Arthur soon felt breath on his cheek, then that vine was pulled out of his mouth, only to be replaced with a tongue. The two men moaned as they made out. The sap, the slick vines rubbing and tugging on their cocks, the rush of finally having each other, everything was sending them higher into ecstasy. They were lost in each other and soon forgot anyone else was there.  
Meanwhile, Mandy watched happily as her sex vines pleasured Tick, penetrated Arthur, made love to all six bee twin holes, and had even started ramming El Seed's tender behind.  
"Incredible! I didn't know you could take so many people at once, Sexy! Say," she smirked, "think you have room for one more?!"  
In response the vines curled into a heart shape.  
"Alright!" She exclaimed as she began removing her clothing.   
I'm not going to go into great detail about her, for your sake, but just know that that old lady can still get it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to take it this far. Trust me, lewding El Seed, and Mandy for that matter, was never my intention. However, I had no say in the matter. I am merely a chiseler, chipping away to get to the man trapped inside the marble. The story wanted to be this, and so it is.
> 
> Also I never thought I'd describe buttocks as "leafy".


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur awoke to three sensations: the warm sunlight on his face, the feeling of big strong arms wrapped around him, and the motion of being very gently rocked back and forth. He had never felt so at home. He wanted it to last forever, however soon his senses came to him and he remembered what had happened. So many conflicting thoughts and emotions ran through his brain. Embarrassment, love, excitement, and anxiety. But then it hit him.  
_El Seed!_  
"Tick! Tick, wake up!" Arthur shout-whispered as he eyed the villain who was laying on his side.  
"Nyi…what is it dear?"  
Arthur ignored the rush of affection he felt. "Tick! El Seed!"  
"What?! Wha-AA!"  
He shouted as he tumbled out of the vine hammock, bringing the unfortunate Arthur down with him as they hit the ground with a thud. This did not seem to affect El Seed, who laid next to the sex plant, staring at it. Tick stood up and marched toward the villain.  
"El Seed! I'm taking you to jail!"  
This caught El Seed's attention. He looked at Tick with an anxious expression.  
"Oh no please! Let me spend just one more hour with him!"  
"Not today, El Seed! You're coming with-"  
Tick was stopped by an arm outstretched in front of him.  
"Hold on there, big guy! I think El Seed has had a change of heart!"  
El Seed nodded.  
"Mandy, I think you have made something truly incredible." He pet the plant. "I...I never want to leave him."  
Mandy rubbed her chin for a bit before smiling wide.  
"Tick, I have an idea!" She stepped closer to El Seed.  
"You really love Sexy, huh?!"  
"Yes!"  
She put her hands on her hips. "Alright flower boy, I'll make you a deal! I'll let you live here with Sexy! You can fuck him as much and as often as you like!"  
El Seed's expression brightened and he sat up.  
"R-really?!"  
"On one condition!"  
"Oh yes please, I'll do anything!"  
"You have to give up being a villain for good!"  
El Seed faltered. He bit his lip and looked at the plant.  
"O...okay. I'll do it."  
Mandy pumped her fist.  
"Yes! Good wins again! You can be my personal assistant! You should get acquainted with the other plants while you're at it, I think you'll like them!"  
"I...suppose." He looked at the bee twins, who were awake and staring at him. "What about you women? What are you going to do?"  
They looked at each other and then looked down.  
"We don't know."  
Mandy pondered, then swiped her hand.  
"Aw, what the hey, they can join us!"  
"Really?" Said the twins.  
"Sure, I could always use an extra hand or four!"  
The twins smiled.  
"Thank you."  
Mandy looked around. "Is this great or what?! Now who wants to go out and get something to eat?!"  
"I don't eat monkey food."  
"Oh right! Well we'll get you some fresh, worm-infested manure!"  
The group of four walked out the door, leaving Tick and Arthur behind.  
"I think they forgot about us, Tick," Arthur said.  
"It seems so. Nonetheless, I think we can call this adventure a success!"  
"We didn't do anything though."  
"Yes, another villain was subdued and the day was saved!"  
"But do you really think El Seed can change into a completely different person just because he'll get sex out of it?"  
"Hard to say, chum. Maybe he was pent up this whole time and just needed a good plowing. A deflowering, if you will. You know what the hippies say, make love, not war. Hippies are also all about flower power, so I think theirs is a philosophy El Seed can get behind. The point is, my lovely white rose," he put his hand on Arthur's shoulder. "I think El Seed has turned over a new leaf! Yes sir, we got right to the root of the problem, and now he's flourishing! You reap what you sow, and in the end, when you weed out all that evil, you'll find that that love stems from a good place!"  
Arthur smiled and shook his head. "Never change, Tick."


End file.
